ALIGN III: I - Intentionality
The moment I realized I was scared of heights came at a relatively inconvenient time: when I found myself suspended at the very top of a Ferris Wheel at the local village fair.
My sister, a few years younger than I, squealed with glee as we paused at the highest position of the ride. The scene was something from a movie: she happily kicked and rocked our rickety bucket seat back and forth, while I shrieked for dear life. I didn’t like it and wanted to get down. Immediately.
My mom gently tried to explain that we’d have to wait until it was our turn to reach the bottom again and that each stop was simply a pause to let others off the ride. But I wasn’t having it. Once my two feet landed safely back on the ground (and my stomach stopped doing summersaults), I vowed that was the end of Ferris Wheels for me.
I haven’t been back on one since.
But as I’ve gotten older, an interesting phenomenon has taken place. At multiple points in my adult life, I’ve had some of my biggest lessons come to me in moments where I’ve found myself facing these heights, literally. Precariously balanced off the ground, I made choices to step out into the unknown.
Intentionality is an important core value in a framework to sustainably ALIGN with change. In my younger years, I might have associated it with characteristics like commitment, seriousness, focus, intensity, and drive, but what I’ve discovered about intentionality is that, well, it’s a bit more whimsical than I thought.
Simply put, it’s “choosing to choose.” And rather than a high-stakes proposition, it actually offers a few really incredible resources: space, presence, and connection.
Intentionality in action is an incredible tool that opens us up to big possibilities. Whether we pivot, pause, or leap, the direction we make our next move is sure to be a decision that gives us an opportunity to grow.
Here are three tactics for creating (and living) intentionality from the inside out:
Creating space and taking time: Take a few deep breaths. Literally. Whether it’s a breath, thought, word, or action, a pause creates an opportunity to make more intentional choices. Even if a sliver of space or time is created, this is a habit for consistently providing a moment to reassess—stretching or shifting perspective if needed. Over time, this habit will grow.
Reframing regret: Let go of the binary nature of “right” and “wrong.” Intentionality is about recognizing choices are choices. Rather than dwelling on what happened in the past, focus on what might take you toward your next steps. See if there’s anything you to learn, unlearn, or relearn. (That might mean making another change.) That’s okay. Take a deep breath and begin from where you are.
Choosing to Choose: Whether making hard choices or simply making a more engaged choice, committing to the act changes the result. Give yourself permission. Start small. Choose something where the stakes aren’t quite so high—you don’t need to start off walking a tightrope! – and see how it feels to make choices from a place of space, presence, and connection.
Notice what happens when you consider these important questions:
Where do you want to go?
How do you want to grow?
What responses do you feel in your system? Do you get anxious if you aren’t sure of the answer? Do you feel overwhelmed you might make the wrong choice? Are you excited about the possibilities ahead?
Walking on a tightrope, I learned a few things about the art of balancing (and intentionality). You have to take the time to orient to your environment, give yourself space to explore your environment, and yes, connect with that dreaded, all-too-thin rope that certainly doesn’t seem made for balancing on in the first place.
And just as fast as it felt like nothing more than a ticking time bomb, the choice to take an intentional step forward becomes a reminder that nothing is impossible when we choose to start.