Make the Shift: Ditch Resolutions and Embrace Intentions
I don't believe in New Year's resolutions anymore.
The statistics are staggering - the majority of resolutions are broken in just a few weeks. In fact, one study states that only 9% of resolutions made are actually completed. Part of the reason why I believe this happens is that resolutions often focus on the things we do. And although I love a good goal, project, or commitment, resolutions often create a false binary of success vs. failure.
I have spent a lot of time setting resolutions, only to hang my head in frustration (or even shame) when I can't keep them. Was it an issue of willpower? Motivation? Lack of commitment? The reality is, many of these resolutions probably weren't that achievable. If I looked hard at my life, my priorities, and my habits, I would see that I was creating aspirational goals that were in reality, pretty unattainable for who I was and the choices I made. (Exhibit A: I'm not sure I'll ever be a member of the 5 am wake-up club even though I have tried many times.)
So what can we embrace instead? Try Mindful Intention Setting. This major shift to our approach isn't always easy and requires embracing the realities of where we are while getting clear about who we want to be.
I didn't realize it, but EMBRACE was my word for 2023. The pace of the year was exciting and at times hectic: I published my book in April and had the remaining formats available by the Fall! It brought an incredible combination of high highs and moments that challenged my patience asking me to stay present, even with situations I didn't like or things I didn't understand.
Yet, I found myself in the hectic flurry of December thinking: Have I done ANYTHING this year?! It was a startling reminder that it doesn't matter how many things we have accomplished (or checked off our list) if we forget to wire any of it in. When I sat down and took a few minutes to reflect, I realized how much I HAD done and how proud I was of who I had become over the course of the past 365 days.
This helps develop what I call our Proof Loop. Proof Loops remind our system that even though it may be hard, we CAN do hard things. When we sometimes struggle with inspiration or motivation, we can look back and recognize (and celebrate!): "Hey! I've done that before!" All of a sudden, things feel a little more possible, probable, and even real. Wiring in this Proof Loop of the things we have done is an important part of showing up for ourselves and making lasting, sustainable changes.
So here's how to start your Mindful Intention Setting practice in three easy steps:
1. Set your intention (or name your word).
Take some time and reflect on what word or intention you'd like to set for the year ahead. This can be a simple word, complex concept, or ideal. Don't overthink it! Move with what lights you up.
2. Reflect on what BEING your intention looks like.
Instead of focusing on what you want to DO, consider what it FEELS like to embody your intention. FOCUS might feel committed and thoughtful; JOY might feel light and playful. Take note of how you want to BE and FEEL through your word or intention. This helps calibrate your decision-making compass. Revisit this reflection often, and use it as you make choices on a daily, weekly, or monthly basis.
3. Wire it in.
Whatever it is, find three ways to wire it in. Say it out loud or post it around your home. Use it as a daily mantra. Find a theme song to use as a reminder or give your 2024 life as a movie title (using a movie trailer voice is always a playful way to bring this to life!). Remember that YOU are the main character of your story.
Do you find yourself thinking that it's already January 5 and you missed the resolution boat? Or, can you shift your perspective and remind yourself that there are 360 days of possibility left in 2024?
Press the shift button and try something new. January 1 is not the only time to commit to begin again. In fact, it really doesn't matter what the date is: it's always a perfect day to choose to start.