Embracing a Different Holiday Rush...
Tomorrow is December 1: We all know what that means.
Barely a week after our Thanksgiving feast has digested, we are thrust into a month that seems to run at its own, frantic pace. Stores are full of overstimulating displays encouraging us to BUY NOW! while the days seem to tick on by. The lists of things that need to be wrapped up (literally and figuratively) before the end of the year are long and daunting. And then, we have to consider how to navigate family gatherings, plan holiday travel, coordinate logistics, and bake all those perfectly presented holiday treats. And of course, figure out how to enjoy it all.
Ah. The Holiday Rush.
Believe me, there are moments each year when I feel like pulling the anti-holiday Grinch card and just tapping out. The pressure can be intense, and getting caught up in the snowball of the holiday season feels like rolling down a one-way street at an unsustainable pace.
But, is that the only way?
What if, instead of being pushed to an end-of-the-year finish line, we could choose to rush TOWARD a new year energized and excited? How can we seek (and find) the things that fill us and warm us? What can help support us in setting intentions for connection and meaning, while rediscovering enjoyment and fulfillment on our terms?
A lofty goal, perhaps. But in any situation, awareness brings an opportunity for choice. Over the next few weeks, I'm going to offer a few reframings on holiday habits that can help us determine whether choosing differently can support us in reclaiming the holiday season as a time for connection rather than frustration.
Tradition: Obligation or Opportunity?
Traditions are an amazing way to honor the past and create meaningful moments of connection across generations. But often, we don't ask ourselves WHY we continue these traditions year after year. This is now the third year in a row that I debated whether to put up my holiday tree. Each year I consider skipping the tradition, but a deep dive into my intention reveals that it makes me REALLY happy to have twinkling lights filling my home with a little light and magic.
Whether for yourself, or your family, consider digging into your intention (and motivation) behind traditions. I have a friend who always set aside a day to bake cookies with her kids but inevitably it turned into a fight. They didn't want to help, she got frustrated, and at the end of the day, she felt like a slave to the kitchen, spending a day making cookies she felt like no one wanted to help with.
This year, before simply deciding to throw the whole tradition away, she sat down with her kids and asked them why the tradition was important (and meaningful) to them. Their answers surprised her.
They shared that they loved working together to find the recipes, going to the store to get the ingredients (and racing through the aisles to see who could find things first), and then enjoying the finished product...but the actual making of the cookies was their least favorite part! It felt like a chore. Their love of creativity, the excitement of gathering and curating holiday treats, and enjoyment of the end product were getting lost in the "tradition" of spending a day in the kitchen baking.
My friend was shocked, but grateful to have been given insight on what was most meaningful to her kids. And since SHE still loves to bake, they decided to create a refreshed and redefined holiday baking tradition: now, they plan out their holiday baking together, have fun shopping at the store, and even have a big reveal to enjoy their treats together - but the kids go play while my friend does what SHE loves most, spending the day with hot cocoa and her favorite music, baking holiday treats.
What once felt like a family obligation now feels like an opportunity to connect with her kids and carve out the space for everyone to enjoy the fun and meaning of a tradition. It's now something they look forward to each year.
Redefining Tradition for YOU
What does this intentional process of refreshing (and redefining) tradition look like in action? It starts with a curious inquiry that might include questions like:
What about this tradition do I enjoy? What parts do I dread?
Do I feel obligated? Why?
What does a reimagined version of this tradition look like? How would that feel?
Can I give myself permission to try a new way?
Getting clear on what we enjoy (and why!) helps us determine what habits, patterns, and even traditions we want to take forward. It's always okay to try something new. If we don't like it, we can change it. But without the opportunity for a new way, we can't possibly know how enjoyable it can be.
Growing up, I loved holiday countdowns. Advent calendars were my favorite - each day I got to open a little door that had a surprise behind it...and it was always...chocolate. Which I don't really like. Instead, I have now created my own countdown tradition, taking what I loved about the anticipation of welcoming each new day and winding it into a meaningful holiday practice.
Ahead of December's start, I write out 31 names on a small piece of paper - friends, families or family members, colleagues, or even some individuals I may NOT know that well (my local barista or the grocery store clerk for example). While having my coffee in the morning, I open one of those little paper slips and spend a few minutes with the name before me. Sometimes I express my gratitude for them and sometimes I send them support or good wishes for the holiday season. Often, I'll call or text that person to let them know I'm thinking of them. Every once in a while, they'll call me without even realizing I picked out their name that morning! Each day is like an exciting gift, and the tradition has become a season of remembering, connecting, and sharing joy and meaning from afar.
Think about your long-standing traditions. Why do you enjoy them?
What can you refresh, re-envision, or redefine about your holiday choices that might better serve you?
Ultimately, I chose to put up my tree again this year. But, it's not because I should or I have to - I'm motivated by the reminder that bringing a little holiday magic brings a lightness that fills my days with joy. I put on a holiday movie or Christmas playlist and dance around, and my chosen tradition ends up being a rewarding reminder of what truly makes my holidays meaningful.