ALIGN I: A - Authenticity

Bring your whole self.

It’s a simple, but powerful sentence that, at first glance, reads as an empowering anthem.

My whole self.

Hold on. But not the weird or awkward stuff, right?

What about those less-than-perfect, unfiltered life moments? (Who wants to see those?)

And I’m sure you don’t mean the messy, un-figured-out, unsure, and in-progress pieces…

Ah, but I do.

Even with unlimited access to information at our fingertips, it hasn’t become much easier to understand our place in the world (or figure out how it works). It can be confusing, and hard to know who (or what) to trust. Our digital world has made it all too easy to “filter” our experience and curate our image. There’s a sense of (perceived) control when we put things in neat and tidy, binary boxes. But at the end of the day, we’re often left feeling empty. And research has shown that we are wired for, and more than ever, crave connection.

Enter Authenticity.

Authenticity isn’t a static state of being or check-box set of qualities: it’s the choice to show up in a way that’s honest, genuine, and often, vulnerable. In The Gifts of Imperfection, Brené Brown reinforces this, sharing: “Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It’s about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen.”

You might feel anger over not landing that new client – but on a second (or third) look, there may also be frustration, disappointment, resentment, anxiousness, and even relief.

You might be feeling wild joy over a recent promotion – and as you dig in, you may find that there’s joy, happiness, and pride, but also anticipation, nervousness, and even fear.

It’s tempting to shy away from the stuff that seems to make things messy. But embracing an attitude of ‘AND’ rather than ‘OR’ strengthens our ability to live in harmony – or congruence – an important aspect of unlocking authenticity. It’s a choice that guides our decision-making like a compass, and a core value for living a life that’s aligned with change and ripe for growth.

Not sure where to start? Here are three tips for orienting to Authenticity:

1.     Be aware. We’re in an age of awareness, where knowledge truly is power. Cultivate a habit of asking yourself what’s present – then ask again. If you’re stuck, try working with a wheel of emotions that can help you more clearly identify what you’re experiencing (and may help expand your emotional range of emotion).

2.     Make new friends (with your emotions). Lean into “dialectical thinking” and embrace the attitude that opposite emotions are normal and compatible. Rather than pushing away what you aren’t comfortable with, see what happens when you accept them.

3.     Practice riding the congruence continuum. Look for the places where you can ditch the “OR” and flip to a mindset of “AND.” Know that from moment to moment, we change, and this fluidity allows us to ride life like a wave.

To be true to who we are, we have to be willing to be in touch with it all. That willingness – even risk – to show up and openly share who we are allows us to find more of what we crave: true meaning and deeper connection.

Life would be way simpler if the path forward was clear (or if we had a manual for being human and “doing” life). But the truth is, we’re made to experience it all. It’s what makes the whole journey such a ride.

I stand by my opening anthem: bring your whole self. Messy, unfiltered, in progress, AND awkward, it all gets to be there.

The world will be a better place for it.

(Check out this article if you need support around increasing your emotional range of motion: https://medium.com/age-of-awareness/how-to-use-wheel-of-emotions-to-express-better-emotions-8037255aa661)