Lisa DeAngelis

Explore, Build, Embrace, & Align

Taking Time to Think about R&R

Good old fashioned, R&R. When was the last time you thought about rest and relaxation? It's certainly been an extraordinary time where the idea of self-care and rejuvenation are not as easy to connect with, create, or feel. 

But actually, I'm not talking about that kind of R&R today. I'm talking about reaction and response. And the differences we can explore in that space. I've been thinking about the perhaps subtle but important distinction in the comparison of these two terms: Reaction and Response. Reaction is a natural process; albeit a fairly habitual one. Response however appears as something a bit different - and implies making a choice of some sort. In breaking this down a bit further, we are reminded that reaction can have levels. (We can over-react.) So does response - we can respond thoughtfully or impulsively. Of course I am not implying that one of these is better than the other. We can react well to a situation and respond poorly, so one does not necessarily supersede the other. But in the thought landscape we inhabit, I believe another important part of this distinction is the idea that we often react in parts, but response is often more a product of the whole. 

This tendency exhibits itself in all ways and manners - when pain or an issue occurs we often focus on it without consideration of all the factors involved. One one hand we can be grateful for this evolutionary tool for efficiency! It's an indicator that our system is attuned to our environment and able to adapt - a skill that especially now is very needed. However if we react to one condition without considering a total response, we must also consider the long term effects. After all, when our system is in this mode of reaction, it isn't concerned with sustainability and longevity...it's foremost concern is working through the current task, issue, or question at hand. 

The creation of some sense of predictable routine is something the system appreciates, but reaction can also easily wind its way in to our lives as new habit - occasionally as habit(s) we don't necessarily choose. We’re at a point in the year where the changes around us move quickly and swiftly. I'll ask to you to consider the following questions that might highlight reaction and response: 

  • How does your body react or respond to changes in the world around you? When it gets cold, do you find yourself scrunching your shoulders more? When you begin pulling out heavier clothes and shoes, what do you feel more (or less) of?

  • How often (if ever) do you look at the choices you make in regards to your day to day habits?

  • Does anything change now that much of life has transitioned to ‘virtual’? How does your body respond to the way you engage with your computer? Does the volume of your voice change adjust to this environment differently?

  • What physical reactions or responses occur when you read or hear good news? Bad news? Talk to someone you are excited about? Have a difficult conversation? 

It can be tempting to reach for "reasons" or solutions outside of ourselves - place a reactionary blame on other people or situations; but there is both empowerment and comfort in knowing that we are the sole proprietors of our ability to move forward. And we possess the tools within us to do so. As I've often reminded my students, a focus on these thinking principles is much more and deeper than how we sit or how we stand. These activities just happen to be simple, meaningful, and accessible opportunities to safely explore and access both new learnings and rediscovering what our systems may have efficiently adjusted over time. This brings us back to the bigger picture connection with ourselves and our world, and even in a time which requires quite a bit of response, we can work on honing these skills. 

Of course, we all do need the other kind of R&R too…one choice at a time keeps us moving forward.

We always have a choice; and our choices allow us the opportunity to change.